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briannachipman

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briannachipman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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briannachipman's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (5176)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30713) - you deserved it (8003)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (9171)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (2377)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42946) - you deserved it (6710)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (42548)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (2428)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17739) - you deserved it (7159)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47344) - you deserved it (14027)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (8119)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (2269)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (5782)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States



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