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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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brianjman14

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brianjman14
  • Town/Country : near NYC, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 4661
  • Number of comments : 1387
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About brianjman14 : I'm Brian.
Metalhead. Guitarist. Gamer. Stoner. Gay, but not girly. Confusing, ain't it? I'm proud to be of Italian, Irish, and Scottish blood. I'm not a grammar nazi, but if you say something like "your stupid"/"your an idiot" or talk lyk thz nd no1 can undrstnd wht dha fck ur saeeyingg, I will make fun of you. Feel free to message me. I love getting messages.

I play on PS3 a lot. I can't list all of my games but the ones I play the most are:

-Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
-Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
-Call of Duty: Black Ops
-Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
-Saints Row: The Third


\m/ LONG LIVE METAL! \m/
Fav. artists are:

-Amon Amarth
-Black Sabbath
-Children of Bodom
-Dethklok
-Ensiferum
-Five Finger Death Punch
-Ozzy Osbourne

brianjman14's last visitors

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brianjman14's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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brianjman14's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (1729) - you deserved it (12447)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (1058)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (11295) - you deserved it (1742)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

#18825467 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (6652) - you deserved it (1076)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (6022)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (12319)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (7775) - you deserved it (1031)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

#18551732 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (1722)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021 (713)

I agree, your life sucks (12761) - you deserved it (10601)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (16585)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (6059)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (9204) - you deserved it (1680)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732 (442)

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (35959)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (7911) - you deserved it (35711)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)