About breberry304 : I'm Bre, I'm fifteen and I love FML.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (2427)
On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (6684)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (1619)
On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (37599)
On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (4809)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6617) - you deserved it (26664)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (2155)
On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (5285)
On 07/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Mikimiks93 (woman) - South Africa (Limpopo)
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17714) - you deserved it (8041)
On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36843) - you deserved it (18244)
On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9315) - you deserved it (59702)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (6031)
On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)
Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4864) - you deserved it (42628)
On 07/30/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by bit - United States (Florida) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
