About breberry304 : I'm Bre, I'm fifteen and I love FML.
Socialite
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5170) - you deserved it (19313)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (19180)
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (2416)
On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (1228)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (1681)
Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12268) - you deserved it (1310)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)
Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9763) - you deserved it (18921)
On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (6260)
On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (6260)
On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (6260)
On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (2090) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (2090) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (1746)
On 04/14/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by ProsserBabe11 (woman) - United States
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6143) - you deserved it (27312)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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