About breberry304 : I'm AJ, I'm eighteen, and I love FML.
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breberry304's favorite FMLs
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML
by anon / 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Kids
Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML
by wormsmeat / 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML
by morethanablondemoment / 08/28/2015 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Johnvris / 07/08/2015 at 10:44am / Aruba / Love
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML
by stanky / 06/19/2015 at 10:47am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML
by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML
by Lesbihonest / 06/17/2015 at 9:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML
by VHBJ / 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by betterthanhodor / 06/03/2015 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health
- Today, my close friend who had been asking me out for 4 months broke up with me after dating for 3… Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find… Today, my mother surprised our family by playing a clip of my ex singing a song he wrote. She tells…