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brackaman

Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 4:17am) | Search for a member

brackaman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2769
  • Number of comments : 359
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brackaman : I am the most normal person you will ever meet. *twitch twitch*

brackaman's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:52am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:45am<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:13pm<b>zeffra13</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:25am<b>Nichao</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 10:18am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:41am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:37pm<b>TheBookWyrm</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:12am<b>bonnnie</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:13am<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:14pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:39pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:27am<b>squidgy787</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:40am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:14am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:51pm

brackaman's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of brackaman's badges

brackaman's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92793) - you deserved it (5836)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64963) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49875) - you deserved it (3038)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50396) - you deserved it (7098)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70097) - you deserved it (10294)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (50269)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53528) - you deserved it (3510)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50498) - you deserved it (8172)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (3415)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33174) - you deserved it (51074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (49005)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (3629)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (6171)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)



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