About Brackaman
I am the most normal person you will ever meet. *twitch twitch*
Brackaman - Followers
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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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  • One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find
Brackaman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

By innocent / Monday 6 January 2014 21:32 / Australia

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 December 2013 22:39 / United Kingdom

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

By NRFTW - / Tuesday 17 December 2013 05:10 / United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 12 December 2013 00:51 / United States - Buffalo

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

By OuchImAMoron - / Friday 29 November 2013 02:05 / United States - Old Bridge