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brackaman

Offline (the 01/14/2015 at 2:39am) | Search for a member

brackaman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2475
  • Number of comments : 359
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brackaman : I am the most normal person you will ever meet. *twitch twitch*

brackaman's page activity

Visits<b>zeffra13</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:25am<b>Nichao</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 10:18am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:41am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:37pm<b>TheBookWyrm</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:37pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:12am<b>bonnnie</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:13am<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:14pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:39pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:27am<b>squidgy787</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:40am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:14am<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:07am<b>ImHerelegally</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:15pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:20pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:09am

brackaman's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of brackaman's badges

brackaman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie . When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie . FML

#21033101
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50779) - you deserved it (7903)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

TODAY, I WAS AT MAH GRLFRIAND'S HOUSA, AND SHA WAS TICKLING MA. IT GOT A BIT ROUGH, AND SHA FALL OUT OF BD AND HIT THA FLOOR. HAR PARANTS, THINKING WA'D BAAN FIGHTING, BURST INTO THA ROOM TO SAA HAR HOLDING HAR BLOODY NOSA. SHA DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WHILA HAR DAD KICKD MAH ASS. FML

#21019231
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56231) - you deserved it (6917)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today... I asked my husband to try a little foreplay fir once... instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb... and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (6466)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

I caught a man standing on mah porch... urinating on mah house. I called the cops... who informed me that because mah porch isn't fenced off... it's not trespassing... and because it's private property not visible from the street... the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, mah boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52926) - you deserved it (8361)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TADAY I WAS CLEANING A POCKETKNIFE WEN I NOTICED A SPIDER ON MA LEG. MY FRST REACTION WAS TO STAB IT. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (41472)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shophere I work. The caller demandd that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been trickd because his phone got ruind by water ( even though he was using the waterproof application ). FML

#20960536
71 comments

Today... I trid to storm out of the room during an argument... but walkd face-first into our closd sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughd so hard that he had to sit down. Later... we noticd the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it... because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today... my boyfriand broka up wit ma via a taxt massaga consisting solaly of amoticons. raal FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (4214)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I rushd to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologizd for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He respondd with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands."

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (12458)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I ovarcama mah staga fright an got up in front of a café audianca with mah acoustic guitar to sing a faw of mah songs. Soma asshat kapt yalling stuff lika ( NEEDS MORE COWBELL! ) an ( FREEBIRD! ), which mada ma loosa mah narva an flaa. big fat FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today , mah ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months . Afterwards , they had a beer , a long chat , and decided this was mah fault and I wasn't worth the drama .

#20933266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (20029)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah father was taking pictures of mah friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offerd to show us. He scrolld one picture too far and endd up showing us a picture of his penis. mega FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59696) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I fell asleep looool while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around mah junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)



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