brackaman

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Offline (the 09/17/2016 at 1:35pm)

brackaman

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3740
  • Number of comments : 362
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brackaman : I am the most normal person you will ever meet. *twitch twitch*

brackaman's page activity

Visits<b>lukey12</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:29am<b>hobbs96</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:54am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:05pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:37pm<b>chriszoom328</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:54am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:48pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:32am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:22pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:24am<b>crystalbeau98</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:52am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:45am<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:13pm<b>zeffra13</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:25am<b>Nichao</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:00pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:05am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 3:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:51pm

brackaman's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of brackaman's badges

brackaman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

by NickDrakeFan / 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

by zzfreakshow / 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Animals