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botOxymoron

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botOxymoron
  • Town/Country : Ocala, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 633
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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botOxymoron's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4291)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (1813)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112978) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147109) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71099) - you deserved it (6674)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655060) - you deserved it (48792)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133558) - you deserved it (7689)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110188) - you deserved it (4829)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111850) - you deserved it (4812)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85221) - you deserved it (7115)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159012) - you deserved it (9651)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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