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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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bmach

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bmach
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 September 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 11953
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About bmach : An awesome guy in general.

bmach's last visitors

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bmach's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bmach's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (7218) - you deserved it (32650)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60654) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (10952) - you deserved it (35027)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (6245)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961 (401)

I agree, your life sucks (7991) - you deserved it (207506)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

#4081903 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (6571)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (10406)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73308) - you deserved it (13610)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (68608) - you deserved it (3622)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (143983) - you deserved it (21238)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (70611) - you deserved it (19655)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (62344) - you deserved it (1775)

On 03/06/2009 at 8:48pm - money - by collegedoesntwantme (woman) - United States (Delaware)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (163341) - you deserved it (32425)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)