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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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bls27's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
by ConfusedGirl / 12/15/2015 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
by sarahrachel / 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by accidentalnorman / 12/07/2015 at 5:11am / Intimacy
Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2015 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids
Today, I realised there's a reason that no one talks to the weird guy from choir practice. I was nice to him a couple weeks ago and now he won't stop following me around the school and watching my group at lunch from behind a pole. FML
by Rainbow_Rhinos / 11/28/2015 at 2:17am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by strawberry / 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Playaaa / 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…