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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML
by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
by technicallywroteabook / 08/21/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids
Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
by anon / 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by WhatTheFuck / 07/30/2015 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Sad Mom / 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
by Anonypiss / 07/22/2015 at 12:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health