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bls27

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bls27

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  • Number of visits : 1471
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (24137)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (34584)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (5051)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49320) - you deserved it (3482)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (5428)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (3496)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (10987)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (10611)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (2787)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (6570)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (5953)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)



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