Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bls27

Online | Search for a member

bls27

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2818
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bls27's badges

bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (4788)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (2304)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (3022)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (4052)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (7693)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (45125)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (3269)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (7698)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (39690)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (3537)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

#21401688
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:49am - work - by Goatczar - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3961)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (3173)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: