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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
by -_- / 10/07/2015 at 7:29am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
by single once again / 10/07/2015 at 3:41am / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love
by aishyaslife89 / 10/06/2015 at 6:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by elcee1987 / 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by sad-boing / 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Nick Pat / 09/30/2015 at 9:13am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML
by Thatguynoonelikes / 09/29/2015 at 9:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML
by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet / 09/25/2015 at 9:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy