Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bls27

Search for a member

bls27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of bls27's badges

bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (4089)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33947) - you deserved it (4289)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38664) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49979) - you deserved it (33746)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47539) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (4383)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44979) - you deserved it (10551)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52599) - you deserved it (5900)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (7355)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47833) - you deserved it (3782) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (39011)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61418) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56154) - you deserved it (15826)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: