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bls27

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bls27

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (6124)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (5247)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (12435)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (4974)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53023) - you deserved it (8001)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (42197)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59928) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52103) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you deserved it (8327)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56987) - you deserved it (4383)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (5291)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (4930)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45211) - you deserved it (6496)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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