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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
by Erin / 05/09/2016 at 10:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by somuchhatesolittleworld / 05/09/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Miscellaneous
Today, we finally got some signs of summer in Sweden and I went to hang out in the sun with some friends. I was wearing sunglasses so I only put sunscreen on my nose and forehead. I now have a dick-shaped area in my face where I didn't completely burn my face off. FML
by Swedishsummer / 05/08/2016 at 5:54pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that even though I'm marrying my fiancée in 2 weeks, I don't even love her any more. The only reason I'm doing it is because I don't want to upset her or her family, because they think I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. FML
by RandomJam124 / 05/04/2016 at 5:33pm / United States (New York) / Love
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by unmarried / 05/03/2016 at 8:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
by Sara / 05/03/2016 at 12:52pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by insurgent / 05/03/2016 at 4:31am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML
by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to… Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get…