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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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bls27's favorite FMLs
Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML
by KereKris / 01/14/2016 at 7:11am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Animals
by Becca_Jo / 01/05/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2016 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by oldskoolfun / 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML
by for the whored / 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
by ConfusedGirl / 12/15/2015 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
by sarahrachel / 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by accidentalnorman / 12/07/2015 at 5:11am / Intimacy
Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2015 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work