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bls27

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bls27

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1499
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (2478)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

#21373156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (2360)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

#21373068
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (4205)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (52)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39) - you deserved it (136)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43274) - you deserved it (19595)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (7074)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37794) - you deserved it (4515)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States



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