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bls27

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bls27

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  • Number of visits : 334
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (17919)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45471) - you deserved it (8541)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44572) - you deserved it (20189)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47781) - you deserved it (10312)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (16419)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (4289)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34377) - you deserved it (5047)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42489) - you deserved it (3645)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (8313)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (7364)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59019) - you deserved it (6457)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

#21157136
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45705) - you deserved it (3405)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (6288)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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