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bls27

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bls27

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bls27's badges

bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

#21503817
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (4687)

On 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm - misc - by sarahrachel - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

#21501013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (27443)

On 12/07/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by accidentalnorman -

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

#21500257
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (6042)

On 12/05/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

#21500205
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I realised there's a reason that no one talks to the weird guy from choir practice. I was nice to him a couple weeks ago and now he won't stop following me around the school and watching my group at lunch from behind a pole. FML

#21497720
89 comments

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

#21494871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (8729)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see a movie with a seemingly nice guy after a friend set us up. As soon as the movie started, he unzipped his pants and told me to "get to it". FML

#21493607
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (2342)

On 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by strawberry - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

#21492545
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14125) - you deserved it (25900)

On 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by BashyDaBest - United States (California)

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

#21492507
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (7402)

On 11/14/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by nonymous human subject - United States (California)

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

#21492366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/14/2015 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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