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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 9:51pm / Money
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by EevieBear / 06/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by hellolaina / 06/24/2016 at 8:13pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML
by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML
by Kiki / 06/23/2016 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by Malarky / 06/23/2016 at 3:10pm / United States / Love
by deanlazore / 06/22/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.…