bls27

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bls27

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  • Number of visits : 4540
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was at a really big party and everyone was showing off by flipping into the pool one by one. When it was my go, I attempted a back flip, cracked my head open on the side of the pool, and was rushed to hospital. Now everyone hates me cause the party was forced to shut down. FML

by jeremyr5678 / 07/18/2016 at 7:02pm / Health

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy

Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 1:31pm / Work

Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 5:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

by Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater / 07/15/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

by FrozenAnonymus / 07/14/2016 at 2:05pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Animals

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML

by nightjay / 07/11/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 2:47pm / Kids

Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML

by hannamacintosh / 07/07/2016 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 9:51pm / Money