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bls27

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bls27

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Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

bls27's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (4061)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
156 comments

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (3994)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (29686)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (7084)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36498) - you deserved it (4283)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43956) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (3471)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (2922)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (6081)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States



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Friday 27 February 2015

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