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bls27

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bls27

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  • Number of visits : 372
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bls27's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:32pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:29pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (2113)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (6107)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (5601)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (6997)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (5064)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39829) - you deserved it (8443)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39360) - you deserved it (6253)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (9770)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34205) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197) - you deserved it (4238)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (8337)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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