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blondie2065

Offline (the 07/30/2015 at 5:13am) | Search for a member

blondie2065

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 490
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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blondie2065's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of blondie2065's badges

blondie2065's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (7292)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

#21430531
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (1716)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:07am - intimacy - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (3320)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (1594)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29059) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3236)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (4670)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (9615)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (2754)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (3349)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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