blondie2065

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Offline (the 10/03/2015 at 4:48am)

blondie2065

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 878
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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blondie2065's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of blondie2065's badges

blondie2065's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

by mallycat14 / 06/25/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

by UkuleleTime / 06/23/2015 at 4:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

by pandapantsMD / 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm / Argentina / Work

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

by anon / 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2015 at 11:10am / United States / Love

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

by TheRunaway21 / 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm / United States / Health

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

by rhunter17 / 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm / Love

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 8:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

by sexisntfun / 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

by cherokeems / 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy