Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blondeninja1

Search for a member

blondeninja1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 144
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

blondeninja1's page activity

Visits<b>ktmla</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:38pm<b>maxface</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:05am<b>rob02</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:44pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:36am<b>Credibleskills</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:34am<b>pplthinkimbad</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>A07</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:29pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:42am<b>woiz</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:31pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:28pm<b>randomdude54</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 3:12pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 8:06am<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:07am<b>jassi747</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 11:41pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:43pm

blondeninja1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of blondeninja1's badges

blondeninja1's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (4290)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (3631)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43208) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (15205)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50617) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (12300)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (3763)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (41997)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45566) - you deserved it (11066)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

#21084209
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (6101)

On 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (11971) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (6972)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48563) - you deserved it (15893)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: