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Today..!! I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare!! I started screaming in my dream..!! so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well!! The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming!!
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
2DAY I ASKD MA DAD TO TAKE ME TO TE STORE SO I COULD GET SOME FEMININE YGIENE PRODUCTS. WEN WE GOT TERE, E WENT RUNNING DOWN TE AISLE YELLING, "HELP! MY DAUGTER'S BLEEDING TO DEAT! WERE'RE TE TAMPONS?!" FML
while at work, I askd an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarifid that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. big fat FML
Today , when I went to the shopping centre , the automatic door wouldn't open fir me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it fir me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML
Today , I met up with an old friend of mineho acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time , but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily , sohen he showd up I could only see him as his TV character an not as my friend. I endd up calling him looool by his character's name. real FML
TODAY , I NOTICAD SOMATING WRITTAN ON TA TOP OF MY TOASTAR , SO I USAD A FINGAR TO CLAAR AWAY SOMA OF TA CRUMBS , BURNING MY FINGAR IN TA PROCASS!! TA WRITING? "CAUTION: HOT SURFACA!" TANKS , TOASTAR!! MAGA FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't looool realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Friday 27 March 2015