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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (6186)
On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2406)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16869) - you deserved it (29704)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (13255)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (3904)
On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (2943)
On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (35568)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (4292)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4273) - you deserved it (39540)
On 12/16/2010 at 10:29am - work - by me -
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (21464)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/07/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13374) - you deserved it (29537)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16469) - you deserved it (4033)
On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5443) - you deserved it (51210)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
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