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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (16855)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (15523)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47651)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (6657)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (9802)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (3011)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (7799)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177918) - you deserved it (61453)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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