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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13985) - you deserved it (5878)
On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1270)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (21477)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (2164)
On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (17717)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8861) - you deserved it (31272)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (19320)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (1592)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States
Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43350) - you deserved it (2319)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (1804)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (1906)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (4303)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (4567)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (35895)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (7394)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -
Monday 17 June 2013
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