blanccamaro74

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blanccamaro74

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  • Number of visits : 515
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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blanccamaro74's page activity

Visits<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:10pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 11:55pm<b>fthku</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 5:13pm

blanccamaro74's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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blanccamaro74's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

by WamBamSam / 11/21/2012 at 4:54am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Transportation

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

by Taylor / 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

by fuuuuuh / 07/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

by Leyla / 07/14/2012 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

by veggiepower11028 / 05/31/2011 at 8:02am / Love