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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (1133)
On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (1315)
On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14365) - you deserved it (6308)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States
Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10595) - you deserved it (6777)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (4521)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (4072)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23397) - you deserved it (1467)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14646) - you deserved it (2448)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13453) - you deserved it (21306)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (198)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (1611)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14544) - you deserved it (1039)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11893) - you deserved it (5363)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by cmc9540 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1448)
On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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