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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (3895)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (16833)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61418) - you deserved it (4092)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51880) - you deserved it (3088)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52076) - you deserved it (3577)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (9398)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63149) - you deserved it (5281)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73620) - you deserved it (4300)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54852) - you deserved it (4732)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (2617)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (94325)
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (2866)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47670) - you deserved it (3254)
On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50271) - you deserved it (10733)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59998) - you deserved it (5761)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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