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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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billchilled

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billchilled
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3267
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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billchilled's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51890) - you deserved it (3371)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (1109)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (2590)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (37054) - you deserved it (3638)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

#5450492 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10380) - you deserved it (28889)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (1690)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857 (471)

I agree, your life sucks (48396) - you deserved it (3653)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (9691)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (2516)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

#5364542 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (3607)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:04am - love - by isuckatlyfe (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (2218)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)