About bewareimannoyed : Just an average teenager. I like going on my laptop, and sleeping. Also, my life is crap.
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bewareimannoyed's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by kady / 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by silverstar189 / 01/01/2010 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
by smellyhand / 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
by Sissy / 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by smellsofeggs / 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Animals
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML
by madeyoulaugh / 11/25/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
by Dobby123 / 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
by catgirl911 / 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Garrett / 10/01/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…