About bewareimannoyed : Just an average teenager. I like going on my laptop, and sleeping. Also, my life is crap.
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bewareimannoyed's favorite FMLs
by nk / 11/03/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 11:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 7:37am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Health
Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML
by milhouse86 / 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
by safetyfirst / 07/14/2010 at 11:17am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
by Fark / 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
by ks0300 / 02/24/2010 at 12:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
by tammyg / 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy