Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bewareimannoyed

Offline (the 02/18/2014 at 9:09pm) | Search for a member

bewareimannoyed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1590
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bewareimannoyed : Just an average teenager. I like going on my laptop, and sleeping. Also, my life is crap.

bewareimannoyed's page activity

Visits<b>Timmeeh</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 6:28am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/30/2011 at 3:23pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:49pm<b>gaspardls</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 6:26am

bewareimannoyed's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of bewareimannoyed's badges

bewareimannoyed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (10498)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (3738)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (3488)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#13233409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/28/2010 at 7:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (25593)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (19221)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (19186)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49928) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (4442)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (56159)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (1778)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

#8130787
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (5583)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (5231)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (4373)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: