Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beef25967

Search for a member

beef25967

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 504
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

beef25967's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

beef25967's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2798)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (1984)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (11743)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (4222)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (2570)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (3140)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (2993)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (2026)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33166) - you deserved it (4794)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17743) - you deserved it (1836)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (15775)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got into a fight with my mom, and stormed out of the house. I walked two blocks before realizing that I have no place to go, and no friends to vent to. FML

#19744577
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25382) - you deserved it (6839)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:51pm - misc - by edhere4u2nv (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9621) - you deserved it (20884)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: