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bebefer's favorite FMLs
by firethorn / 06/20/2011 at 1:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
by Adoptee / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Kids
by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML
by Got_any_grapes1 / 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Youdontneed2knowmyname / 02/05/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Health
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to…