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bebefer's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous
by Mary Kathryn / 04/22/2012 at 8:09am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML
by Andrew7847 / 04/22/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Gennifer / 04/22/2012 at 1:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
by wmkaz / 04/21/2012 at 2:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 10:14am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the… Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob".… Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told…