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beanmuffin

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beanmuffin

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  • Number of visits : 436
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beanmuffin's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

beanmuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43568) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37033) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (2759)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (10723)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12964) - you deserved it (31404)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (2602)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (17211)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

#20411081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (7489)

On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17130) - you deserved it (12185)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (7078)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (25478)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (6459)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (11105)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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