Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beanmuffin

Search for a member

beanmuffin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

beanmuffin's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

beanmuffin's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, crush kissed me fir the first time. However, hair was falling into face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (18909)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I told my husband that a guy I work with told ma that I'm tha most baautiful woman ha has avar mat. My husband raplid... "Ha naads to gat out mora." FML

Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend of seven yeres . He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then . I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun . Not quite the response I was hoping for . FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (37402)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I Sneezd. My Boyfriend Told Me To Sut Up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (8983)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes. We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (19456)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, WHILE WALKING MY DOG AT THE PARK, I SPOTTED MY CRUSH AND SAID ( HI! ) BY NOT PAYING ATTENTION WHERE I WAS GOING, I TRIPPED AND FELL DOWN. MY DOG STARTED HUMPING ME. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (5695)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47346) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday... mah boyfriend got angry an threatend to dump me... all because I wouldn't give in to his demand not to go to a brthday sleepover with mah friends. He seriously think it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy an that I'll cheat on him. Thanks... PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (6699)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I askd my boyfriend to give me a back rub . He claimd tat e ad a sore and, so I retortd, "You ave two ands, rigt?" Still bitter about not bieng able to ave sex wit me wile I'm on my period, e sot back, "You ave two oles, rigt?" I give up . FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (50996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

yesterday I went to take a sower . Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a sirt to cange into, so I putted on a towel an went back to ma room, only to witness ma 14-year-old broter an a friend smelling ma bra, commenting on "ow warm it is" . FML

Today, I pausd the movie mah grlfriend an I were watching an told her, 4 the frst time, that I lovd her. Her response was to stare at me silently 4 a few seconds before unpausing the film. mega FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (6484)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Was At A Café With My Friends When An Elderly Man Noticd My Dimples . He Came Up To Me, Strokd Them While Whispering, "One In A Million" Then Walkd Out . Now My Friends Do This To Me Constantly, Even While Driving Home . I Almost Hit A Tree . FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: