About batfan5683 : Hmmm. I love batman. That's all you need to know
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (39869) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15451) - you deserved it (5658)
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (2161)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (3267)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (2866)
On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (4877)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (18531)
On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (13921)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (37289)
On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)
Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44084) - you deserved it (3401)
On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33638) - you deserved it (4012)
On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (2699)
On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5938) - you deserved it (42752)
On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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