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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bananabucket

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bananabucket
  • Town/Country : Vejle, Denmark
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 November 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bananabucket's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (14618)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (28794) - you deserved it (5432)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (5687)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085 (516)

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (7725)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (24266)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (64058) - you deserved it (16143)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

#12612663 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (1710)

On 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm - health - by gorey - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (5105)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (2730)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1288)

I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (488524)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (15855) - you deserved it (51387)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (540)

I agree, your life sucks (255603) - you deserved it (35242)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (293307) - you deserved it (57624)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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