Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About badgirl00069 : 510 curvy and sexy mother and father of 1 beautiful girl whos my world. I also work a full time 50 hour weekly job. I love all kinds of music and I'm a little bit of a gamer . I have 9 piercings and like 20 tatts at least my hole back is done I don't have time for bull shit or drama and I'm not into sexting so please dont message me with hey do u wanna see my d$%& or what not but if u wanna chat I love chatting with new people send me a message
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
Friday 26 September 2014