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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1542
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (5696)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (5696)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

#18988711
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7434) - you deserved it (19574)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by WayTooMuchFacebook (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36921) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13543) - you deserved it (19891)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (1848)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40565) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#18963505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6708) - you deserved it (40259)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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