Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

awkward_turtles

Search for a member

awkward_turtles

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2311
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

awkward_turtles's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:03am<b>Emelka</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:49pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

awkward_turtles's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7879) - you deserved it (25377)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2299)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (3995)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (50775)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (50084)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

#19237523
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (5980)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: