awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5151
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:58am<b>beararm</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:03am<b>Emelka</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:49pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

awkward_turtles's FML badges

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

by jarv49 / 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

by disgusted / 03/16/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

by spermbankonlegs / 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous