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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1560
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (4926)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

#19495086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5820) - you deserved it (18837)

On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (1678)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (1446)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5861) - you deserved it (27494)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (16448)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

#19350578
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (5637)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by stupdude3 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (1468)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (11612)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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