awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5629
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:58am<b>beararm</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:03am<b>Emelka</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:49pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

awkward_turtles's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

by garrett / 09/23/2009 at 4:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

by garrett / 09/23/2009 at 4:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

by garrett / 09/23/2009 at 4:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

by lifesmells / 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

by jonnyc / 06/17/2009 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

by Anon / 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

by johnfrank / 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

by Ltl_Dust_Bunny / 03/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

by Noname / 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous