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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1551
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (2584)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (9319)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (11391)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (3266)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (14224)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (14224)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (6320)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19213) - you deserved it (3676)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21937) - you deserved it (6419)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21937) - you deserved it (6419)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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