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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

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  • Number of visits : 2078
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>Emelka</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:49pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (45036)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

#17555427
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:30am - health - by Lorus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (51573)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

#17521607
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46501) - you deserved it (3988)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm - intimacy - by jimmy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

#17434039
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27508) - you deserved it (2224)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

#17429124
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

#17400862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by Paul - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21523) - you deserved it (12673)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (75091)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

#17300060
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (2599)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm - misc - by Username - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (4916)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

#17160498
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (3959)

On 07/18/2011 at 6:07am - work - by jennlikewhoa - United States

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (51876)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (43110)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

#16897554
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (7699)

On 06/28/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by lamortdeshommes - United States



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