awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4954
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:58am<b>beararm</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:03am<b>Emelka</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:49pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

awkward_turtles's FML badges

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

by Lorus / 08/23/2011 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

by jimmy / 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

by Liz / 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Work

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

by teeth / 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

by Paul / 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

by swmmr / 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

by jennlikewhoa / 07/18/2011 at 6:07am / United States / Money

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

by jen / 07/08/2011 at 10:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

by lamortdeshommes / 06/28/2011 at 1:03pm / United States / Love