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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

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  • Number of visits : 1960
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 4:47pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:43pm<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 7:15pm

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (4539)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (5244)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (3619)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (8007)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (4855)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (3663)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

#18014210
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (3804)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (1872)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

#17969819
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (25894)

On 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm - health - by omgreally91 (woman) - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (2818)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (3097)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51977) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (2989)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)



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