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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1543
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (5012)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (3528)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (4505)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

#18014210
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (3670)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (1795)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

#17969819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (24481)

On 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm - health - by omgreally91 (woman) - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (1903)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (2973)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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Thursday 10 April 2014

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