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awkward_turtles

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awkward_turtles

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  • Number of visits : 2005
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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awkward_turtles's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

#20029882
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (4821)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

#20028660
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (5684)

On 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (1532)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25414) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

#19741158
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (11050)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm - work - by Mark - United States

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

#19737543
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (5913)

On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3997)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (2306)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (1790)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6837) - you deserved it (35216)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (1969)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (6023)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML



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