awesomeness92

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awesomeness92

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 June 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 156
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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awesomeness92's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

awesomeness92's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

by gedderdunn / 05/24/2010 at 2:13am / Reserved / Love

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous