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Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you totally deserved it (7304)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5746) - you totally deserved it (34699)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you totally deserved it (12409)
On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you totally deserved it (6175)
On 07/10/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by lol123 (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you totally deserved it (11054)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you totally deserved it (54912)
On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?". I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5566) - you totally deserved it (35651)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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