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aralc2's FML badges
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aralc2's favorite FMLs
Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML
by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love
Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML
by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals
by .... / 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
by izzie / 05/09/2010 at 10:15am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
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