Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About antmanzero : Well, I finally decided to write this out. Hmm.Basically, I'm your not-so-average 16-year old kid. I mean, yeah, I'll sit around playing video games and doing whatever on the internet, facebook and whatever, but I happen to be insane. Whether I'm clinically insane or not is for my therapist to decide. He lives inside my head. :D Ok. So. I'm in marching band and stuff. I hit shit with sticks. (ba-dum crash!) I'm a junior, not exactly top in my class (far from it, actually,) but I do what I do in life and whoever doesn't like it...well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. ;) Adios. Ps. I like pie. And waffles. And chocolate. And bacon. Combine it all, and you get choco-waffle pie with a bacon crust... *head explodes
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex boyfriend who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015