Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anorexicbarbie

Search for a member

anorexicbarbie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10629
  • Number of comments : 810
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About anorexicbarbie : If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose

anorexicbarbie's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Hayla97</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:04am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:26pm<b>gardenlake</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:09pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:33am<b>Skinyrd</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:05pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Shan2510</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:57am<b>delhh</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:56am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:48pm<b>wahjDeia</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:59pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:46pm<b>sylverdrag</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:55am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:00am<b>TheStranger153</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:46am<b>melody309</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:00am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:14pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:02am

anorexicbarbie's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of anorexicbarbie's badges

anorexicbarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (5590)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (2237)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (5117)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60241) - you deserved it (4167)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (4522)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (49787)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64610) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (64788)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56885) - you deserved it (11362)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

#4562755
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (2248)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by Tiff676 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62344) - you deserved it (2582)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

#4332436
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (6625)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62785) - you deserved it (6850)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: