About anorexicbarbie : If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose
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Mobility
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Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34695) - you deserved it (1533)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (5843)
On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (1929)
On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8266) - you deserved it (36262)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8266) - you deserved it (36262)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (4468)
On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (9954)
On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (6029)
On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (4930)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2458)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2458)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2458)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2458)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (1877)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (4477)
On 01/28/2010 at 1:21am - love - by expertdoubleex (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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